I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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