So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
