just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
