That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
