Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Be still, my beating vagina.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
