Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
did you just send me my own nude
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
