I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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