get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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