I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
