remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
