i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
please don't ironically join a cult
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