There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
