He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
