I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
