just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
