respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He shit in the fireplace
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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