I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
