grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
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