How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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