I can tuck mytits in my pants
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
