Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize