Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
