party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
whose parrot is this?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
