That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
