Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
