Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
