My hand turned me down
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
