You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
