yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
