Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
