Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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