Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Can you bring me the toilet please
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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