I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
