3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
