Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
