I hate all girls vehemently.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
