im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize
