I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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