my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
