can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
they need to just BURY HIM!
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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