Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
