That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
