is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
