I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
