So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Two words: blizzard sex
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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