I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
