you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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