im drinking this country out of the recession.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
