So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
