Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
dude i'm inner monologue high
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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