happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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