got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
