you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
