Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
