Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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