Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
not ubering you a puppy
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
