Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
