swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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