6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
