med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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