WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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