I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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