you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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