I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
