I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
