Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
