Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
