I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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